Genetic Transference
by uberfrau
Summary: Shenny. Complete. Sheldon is avoiding Penny and she thinks she knows why. Starts with some angst and miscommunications. Ends with a goofy surprise. A/U. Expect some scifi silliness. Rated M for some brief allusions to stuff and mild language. My first fanfic! I probably used too many chapters for the word count, sorry!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - I don't own any part of the The Big Bang Theory. Also, I don't mind the Shamy, just prefer Shenny! This is my very first fanfiction though I have read and reviewed probably a million. Oops.**

Genetic Transference - Chapter 1

Penny leaned against the door and softly banged her head against the hard surface, trying to decide if she should even bother trying. Sheldon had been avoiding her for weeks. He would run from her at the mailbox, lock himself in his room when she came to visit and even go so far as to hastily pull on latex gloves and a surgical mask anytime he was confronted by her with no chance of escape. He had finally abandoned his schedule to make himself a less predictable target, for crying out loud!

Dr. Sheldon Whack-A-Doodle Cooper was so desperate to avoid her that he had turned his entire life upside down… what could she possibly have done? She wracked her brain again. It seemed like only the millionth attempt at finding where she went wrong. No doubt another failure. Maybe that was it. She was such a failure he'd finally given up on her. A failed community college education, her tenuous grasp of waitressing technique, poor driving skills, her fleeting dream of fame… none of these were exactly much to offer to a renowned scientist, her beautiful-minded genius who would undoubtedly change the face of physics. She should probably be surprised Sheldon had given her so many chances to prove her worth to him.

 _I really thought we were connecting lately. Of course, he_ _'_ _s a condescending ass, always and forever_ _…_ _but he_ _'_ _s like that with everyone._

She knew what he thought of her.

Uneducated - though he was quick to correct her when she yelled at him for thinking she was stupid. "Penny, you are hardly stupid. While you are certainly unambitious and uneducated, stupid is simply not a descriptor anyone could properly ascribe to you.)

Promiscuous - He often complained of the men she brought home. He'd finally taken things a step too far at one point. "I'm not a slut, Sheldon! I have a NORMAL sex drive for a woman my age!" She grabbed her crotchless panties off the laundry room floor and avoided his matter-of-fact gaze, mentally bracing for the merciless insult that was sure to come. "Penny, do you even listen to me at all? It's like talking to a wall! I am not referring to you as a "slut". You are impulsive in your choice of partners, not in the act of coitus itself. I have noticed, while cleaning your apartment, that your prophylactic collection dwindles and replenishes in such a manner to indicate that you are at least "careful" from a physical standpoint." Here Penny gasped and turned bright red. Sheldon knew how often she had sex? "It is obvious that you treat your physical health and cleanliness as being important and that you do not rely solely on your male partners to shoulder that responsibility. However, you treat your emotional well-being and sense of self-worth with such a cavalier attitude that I often wonder if you even recognize your personal value at all. You deserve more than to be pawed at by the neanderthal-of-the-evening, Penny. It is, quite frankly, absolutely boggling that you refuse to see that." Penny had mutely stared as Sheldon continued calmly folding his laundry, occasionally giving her a piercing glare during his speech, before she finally squeaked out a "Thank you, I think…" and stumbling up to her apartment in a daze.

Overly emotional - no modifier there. Well, he was definitely improving in the "providing comfort" department. "There there, Sheldon's here." He might think she was an emotional basket case, but he believed the same of most everyone else on the planet. Could she really take that as a personal slight?

Penny sighed and abandoned her mental list. Trying to emotionally distance herself from Sheldon right now wasn't working. Every time she thought she knew what he thought of her, he had proven her wrong.

 _I haven_ _'_ _t done anything offensive lately. And as much I would prefer it, I know Sheldon hasn_ _'_ _t abandoned me as being undeserving of his friendship. That would somehow hurt less. There_ _'_ _s only one thing this could be about. He knows_ _…_ _he knows that I_ _'_ _m in love with him. Was the thought of that so terrible that he had to pull away like this? How did he even find out? Where did I go wrong? Oh, Sheldon_ _…_

A tear slid down her cheek and her hand grasped the door knob. She started to twist it… maybe she was wrong… maybe this was something else. Sheldon had the emotional sensitivity of an eight year old. Surely he hadn't picked up on her feelings. She'd confront him. She'd find out the problem and fix it.

She started to turn the knob and heard an unmistakeable sound. The click of the knob being locked. Then the heart-wrenching sound of the dead-bolt sliding into place. She stepped back, both hands over her mouth, too late to stifle the sob that had escaped from her throat. She stared at the peephole as she stumbled backward into her apartment, closing the door and sliding to her knees.

He knew.

He would never forgive her.

She sat on the floor and sobbed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The sound of Penny's pain felt like a baseball bat to his gut. Just minutes before, he'd gone to investigate when he had heard someone at the door. He'd backed away nervously when he saw her through the peephole. He considered informing Leonard she was at the door and then barricading himself into his room, but the idea of her inside the apartment was difficult to handle. No knock had been forthcoming, so he looked out again. Penny was chewing her lip, tears forming in her eyes as they darted back and forth as though she was warring with her thoughts. His heart stuttered and he reached to touch the knob. His hand gripped the knob for a moment, but instead of turning it, he twisted the lock. He placed his hand against the door, his left palm facing towards where he knew Penny to be standing, before leaning his head against the door, eyes closed in a grimace, locking the dead bolt with his right hand. He heard her single sob and then her door close before he dejectedly retreated to his room.

He sat on his bed and slumped forward, elbows on his knees to drop his head in his hands. He didn't want to hurt Penny. He couldn't stand being the instigator of her emotional torment, but this romantic interest was unacceptable. He had to avoid her completely, and it was especially necessary to avoid any physical contact. Penny was an individual who was physically demonstrative when it came to affection. Any sort of touch was impossible now that he was aware of these… romantic leanings.

He rubbed his temples, cursing his 'Vulcan hearing'. Some things he wished he didn't have to hear.

He closed his eyes and sang.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur."

"Happy kitty," his voiced cracked, "sleepy kitty, purr purr purr."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _One Month Later_ _…_

This was getting ridiculous. Penny felt like she had gotten a divorce and was sharing custody. Only it wasn't their children who were being split equally between them, it was their friends. Leonard, Howard and Raj were at a complete loss when they realized what was going on. Well, when they THOUGHT they realized what was going on.

The boys erroneously assumed that Penny and Sheldon had finally had such a crazy blowout that they had decided it was easier to abandon the friendship entirely. For awhile, Leonard had attempted to mend the rift, but once he realized that Penny suddenly had twice the free time he had stopped. He was aghast to realize just how much time the strange duo had spent together while friends. He was suddenly uncomfortable and felt threatened by Sheldon in some unknown way. Why was Penny spending so much more time with the emotionally stunted scientist than with the rest of them? He had quickly turned away from that line of thought, deciding to just be thankful that their friendship had crashed and burned as it had.

Penny had practically seen the thoughts as they ran through Leonard's head. The bespectacled scientist may as well have had a scrolling text box on his forehead. She knew Leonard still liked her, even after their initial date had been such a catastrophe. She wished she had known he had planned their outing as a date so she could have refused. She'd just been too hopeful that she would be able to see Sheldon. Now she had to pretend not to realize they'd had a date or that Leonard was interested in her, all the while hiding her own heartache over the rift between her and Sheldon.

Penny sighed. She knew the boys were playing Halo. It was strangely quiet for a Halo night. Actually, other than a few loud lectures to Leonard, Penny hadn't even heard her Whack-A-Doodle's voice for weeks. She briefly felt hope that maybe he missed her and couldn't be his usual (annoyingly) vocal self because of it. She shrugged the idea off. Undoubtedly, he just didn't want her hearing his voice lest it encourage her "amorous pursuit" as he would likely put it.

Amorous pursuit.

Penny laughed. Then she stopped and huffed. She hadn't initiated any pursuit! She hadn't even hugged the man since she realized how she felt. She'd pulled back physically, less touching and proximity, so worried she would scare him off. Just who the hell did he think he was? She'd had entirely unobtrusive feelings for him! It was just like him to go off the deep end. Only this time, she had failed in her end of the equation. She hadn't gone Junior Rodeo on his ass over it.

Penny's eyes narrowed. She stood up suddenly, her anger overwhelming any sense of reason. She opened her door and stormed into the hallway, bumping into Leonard as he was leaving 4A. The shorter man had been locking the door handle behind himself when he saw the fury on Penny's face. She grabbed the doorknob and glared at him until he hastily scurried down the stairwell. There was no way he wanted to be around for what was coming, even if it meant leaving Penny in the company of Sheldon.

Penny stalked into the apartment, slamming the door behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Penny's eyes roved the apartment for Sheldon and spotted him bent over while perusing the fridge. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes slid over his body in that position. She quickly pushed her attraction aside.

Still perusing the refrigerator, Sheldon's voice started in a low drone. "Leonard, huffing and puffing is more suited to the Big Bad Wolf. I thought we settled the issue this morning. You are completely irrational. Also, slamming the door in such a manner is hardly conducive to preserving the integrity of the wood. Now, if you will excuse m—"

Sheldon suddenly stopped and Penny smirked as he straightened in alarm, his back to her. How had she given herself away this time? No matter.

Sheldon's nostrils flared. _Vanilla and brown sugar_ _…_ He whirled around and skittered backward across the floor as Penny approached, a malevolent grin on her face.

"Now, now, Sheldon, such a waste of electricity," the lithe blonde exclaimed as she slowly pushed the refrigerator door closed. She inched tortuously forward, like a lioness stalking her prey. She maneuvered herself around so that Sheldon couldn't escape to the apartment door or his bedroom. The lanky scientist's eyes darted around the room in utter panic before settling to look at a spot near her elbow. She followed his gaze and realized he was eying his gloves and mask.

 _Oh dammit to hell, is he still carrying those around just in case he sees me?_

Penny picked up the items and waved them in front of his face. "What the hell, Sheldon? Do you think I have cooties? Will touching me somehow transfer my love cooties to you and force you into my bed?"

His eyes whipped back to her face in surprise.

"Yes, I know you know. I'm sorry, Sheldon! I didn't mean to fall for you! I tried to hide it! I know how you feel about romance and physical relationships… I knew it was hopeless already. I wasn't going to pursue you or back you into a corner!" She blinked at the realization that she had just done exactly that. Sheldon's mouth opened as though he wanted to point out that very fact, but she cut him off. "You damn Whack-A-Doodle, it's not like I was going to force myself on you. I was trying to find some way to get over it while keeping you as a friend. And then you… you…"

Penny's voice cracked as she trailed off, tears brimming in her eyes. She straightened her shoulders and thrust the gloves and mask toward Sheldon. "Here, take your stupid armor. I don't need to touch you, Sheldon, I just needed to talk." She watched sadly as Sheldon desperately covered himself.

He stared at her. "Penny, I… I… romantic entanglement is not something I know how to confront… and…"

Penny was amazed to see Sheldon freaking Cooper at a loss for words. Her gaze softened, her anger crumbling away. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She clasped her hands in front of her to control her urge to reach out to the taller man. "I just… please know I didn't mean… for this… to fall in… I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. Look, I'm going to take some time away from all this. Have some flings. I hadn't wanted to for so long because of how I felt for… anyhow, I'm sure that would help. I guess I was just waiting to see if there was any hope for… but anyhow. It's what I do, right? It has to work. It always has. Tell the guys that I need some time for myself or something. Or I'll text them. Or something. Oh god, I'm rambling. I'm leaving now. I'm sorry, Sheldon, so sorry."

Penny took a step back, her foot twisting at an angle to walk around Sheldon and to the door. He blinked, his brain catching up to her thought process absurdly slowly considering his normal mental prowess. Was Penny saying she was going to throw herself into some gorilla's arms to get over him? Was Penny saying that she needed to GET OVER HIM?

He reached out and grabbed her arm with his gloved hand. "Penny, don't… don't leave. I have to tell you… I don't know how to say this. It's completely unfair of me to even try to explain this at all."

Penny reached her free arm up, her hand touching just his mask. Sheldon threw himself back against the wall in horror, arms splayed out to his side, fingers scrabbling against the cool surface, his eyes wide and panicked. Penny sighed. "That reaction is explanation enough, sweetie. You don't have to say anything else." A sad smile graced her lips. "I'll be back and things can go back to normal. Just give me some time. Please, Sheldon, please still be my friend. I don't want to lose you." She started to pull away, but just couldn't leave things the way they were. It felt so sad, so abnormal for her. She needed a playful jibe to sign out on. Some payback for all the crazy he'd unleashed on her the last few weeks. She needed him to know that they could be what they used to. Her eyes suddenly sparkled. "And by the way, brave Sheldor, have some cooties - courtesy of Queen Penelope." She stuck out her tongue in jest and, smiling, poked her index finger against the skin of his forehead.

Sheldon and Penny both gasped as an almost electric shock passed between them. Sheldon ripped the mask down. "Penny? Penny?" Her mind muddled through her confusion. Why was everything in slow motion? Why was he so panicked? Then she realized she was collapsing to the floor.

 _Holy crap on a cracker, did he make a Penny-proof force field to fend me off?_

As consciousness slipped away from her, she felt her fall arrested. She couldn't feel Sheldon's arms on her, but considering she hadn't slammed into the hard floor, he must have caught her.

Her brain desperately reached for anything that could make sense of what had just happened.

Unbelievably, she giggled. _Exit stage right. Fade to black_ _…_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sheldon paced his room as Penny lay unconscious on his bed. Under his covers. Her skin cells sloughing onto his sheets. _Oh what fresh hell is this!_ He shook his head quickly. That mindset was merely habit; in no way were such thoughts helpful. She had been shivering uncontrollably after she lost consciousness so, against his better judgment, Sheldon had levitated her to his room rather than manhandling her there. If this was what he thought it to be (not that he had the slightest experience in the matter), the whole process was proceeding differently from normal. Not surprising as this was an Earth human. There was no telling if the transference would even be successful. Obviously, they he saw her as suitable mate or his endocrine system would never have initiated the sequence. Human neural physiology was so different, however, that there was no guarantee of success.

Sheldon had stopped pacing, staring slack-jawed at the wall. From a scientific standpoint, this was simply fascinating. He heard a soft sigh and pulled himself out of his stupor. He stared at the woman who had somehow become his closest friend (though he was contractually obligated to leave the title "best friend" to Leonard. This was Penny. Penny was not an experiment. Penny was the only being he'd ever allowed himself to love. Not that he'd allowed it in the slightest. As soon as he had realized what was going on, he had panicked and withdrawn from her company entirely. It had taken all of an hour for Penny to realize something was wrong. He'd hated hurting her, but it was unavoidable. Just a single touch could possibly initiate a genetic transference. Normally his sub-species required both partners to desire the other as a mate before the process could begin. He'd had no illusions at the time that Penny could ever love him ( _Penny loves me?_ ), but he wasn't sure how the differences between the subspecies would factor into the equation. Perhaps the usual limitations would not apply in this situation. The last thing he'd wanted to do was force any sort of change on her. He couldn't risk it. To his dismay, all his attempts to avoid this exact circumstance had failed.

He sat down gently next to Penny and tentatively reached out to brush the golden strands from her face. He had lived with his mysophobic cover story for so long that he felt a vague sense of panic at the action. After the first couple of years here, he had experienced enough unintentional contact with Earth humans to be sure he couldn't initiate a transference without at least him experiencing an emotional connection, but had maintained his cover story for his own ease within human society. Since (at least one-sided) bonding desire was still required with this subspecies, the likelihood of any issues arising was extremely low, but he had always felt safer with a certain distance between himself and others. He had been chosen for this position partly due to his failure to ever forge any sort of close bond. It made him uniquely qualified to aid in the exchange of information between the subspecies with little chance for… difficulties. He recalled the problems ambassadors had created on another planet when it turned out that no sort of connection was required to begin the transference process. A simple touch was all it took. What a mess that had been.

Sheldon felt relief as Penny stirred on the bed. He'd been so concerned for her, debating taking her to a doctor. Who knew if that would do her more harm than good now. He lightly grasped her hand in his, his thumb rubbing circles on her skin. If their subspecies were compatible, it was too late to change the outcome of what had happened. If the transference proved ineffective, there was no reason to avoid her touch. Either way, Sheldon felt freed by the knowledge that the course was hopelessly set.

 _Penny loves me._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Penny felt warmth near her and immediately snuggled towards it, her hand pulling away from the soft warmth it had been encased in. She felt a hand against her back and sat up suddenly, blinking in confusion.

 _Sheldon_ _'_ _s room?_

Her heart was beating wildly in absolute panic. He was going to kill her. What was she doing in here? People couldn't be in his room! She reached to pull the covers off so she could make her escape, when she felt her fingers brush against warm skin. She had forgotten the hand on her back. She slowly turned her head, her eyes freezing in shock when she found Sheldon sitting on the bed and calmly watching her.

"Oh, Sheldon, I'm sorry! Why am I? What was that? How did you? Did you TAZE me?"

Sheldon blinked at her. "Penny, I most certainly did nothing of the sort." He paused and she waited for some sort of explanation. "Penny…" He was gazing at the floor, but suddenly squared his shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Penny, I wish to change the paradigm of our relationship."

Her heart dropped. "Sheldon, I don't want to lose you as a friend. I already said that-" Her words were turning incomprehensible when Sheldon suddenly leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the lips, closed-mouthed. She stilled, quiet as a mouse as she tried to make sense of the new information.

"Penny, I request we add a romantic component to our relationship." His bravado suddenly dropped and his gaze shifted. "If you meant what you said before." His voice was much quieter at the last statement.

Penny slowly reached out and touched Sheldon's arm, watching as his eyes briefly jumped to look at hers and then dropped again to his lap. "Sheldon, do you want to date me? I'm so lost. You don't have to force yourself to do this, sweetie. I'm not going to ask something of you that I know you aren't willing to give." She sighed. "That was the whole point of what I was trying to say. Now you probably think I'm going to collapse into hysterics if you don't love me back." She dropped back down onto her back, staring at the ceiling and bemoaning the sudden fainting spell that had so unnerved Sheldon.

"Penny, I never realized you had any sort of inclination toward me in a romantic sense. I distanced myself due to my own feelings for you. Please give me some credit; while I may not be incredibly adept at social situations, even I would not think it necessary to cut you from my life for such a reason. I merely wished to gain the space required to excise the emotions that caught me unawares." He cleared his throat. "If you share these hippy-dippy feelings, I would like to enter into a relationship agreement with you."

Penny tilted her head. "Are you sure this isn't you trying to save me from my own "emotional dramatics"? I don't know why I passed out, but I promise you it wasn't because I just can't go on without you. I may very well be in love, but I'll survive it, sweetie."

"Penny, I am sure your sudden brush with unconsciousness was in no way caused by my _perceived_ refusal of your feelings. The reason, _whatever it may be_ ," he added quickly, "does still concern me, however." He rested his hand on her cheek. "In that vein, I further request, firmly, that you stay nearby so I can look after your health… regardless as to your decision on entering a relationship with me."

Penny felt a grin forming on her face. "You do know I'm not signing any papers, right?"

Sheldon gave her a sharp look. "Penny, a relationship agreement is even more necessary than a roommate agreement. We cannot simply-"

Penny cut him off with a loud, but chaste, kiss on his lips. "No way, you'd ban me from doing stuff like that if I let you write a contract." She grinned mischievously.

Sheldon's eyes crinkled and he let out a breathy laugh. "I'd do no such thing." Then, his expression suddenly serious again, he placed a lingering kiss on her lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _Two months later_ _…_

Despite the original drama with Leonard, Sheldon and Penny's relationship was progressing naturally. _Well, as naturally as one can expect when_ _"_ _pair-bonded_ _"_ _with a sexophobic basket case._ Penny slapped her cheek lightly. _Bad Penny!_ After the first week, it became apparent that no Bazinga was lurking around the corner. Raj had hugged her with a concerned look on his face upon realizing they were actually a couple. Then he'd glanced at Sheldon before giving her two thumbs up and a smile. She could only interpret it him being happy for them, but worried for her. She supposed she couldn't blame him. When Howard cornered her the next day, Penny pierced him with a glare and readied herself to fend off his sexual innuendos. _If he offers me the_ _"_ _physical companionship_ _" I'_ _ll be missing out on, I am totally going to knock a few more inches off his height_ _…_ She was caught completely off guard, however, when Howard had asked her if she was sure that Sheldon really cared for her and that this whole thing wasn't just an experiment. Her first reaction had been to be offended for both herself and Sheldon, but she'd noted the worry in his eyes. Sheldon had never given his friends any reason to think something like this would ever happen. Howard's concern wasn't a slight against Sheldon so much as it was concern for Penny. Her eyes watered and she'd grabbed him in a tight hug, while telling him she was going to be okay and that she trusted Sheldon. Howard had blushed and stammered when she pulled away. Then his eyes had glittered as he leaned towards her with a leer. "Well, hey, if you guys ever break up, count me in for rebound sex!" Penny had groaned and pushed him out the door, shutting it in his face before laughing to herself.

Penny snorted to herself. The guys' reactions were more sensical than Sheldon's own. A few days after they started dating he had pulled her to his room for a "serious discussion". He had tried to claim that he was a subspecies of human from a different planet, sent here to facilitate Earth's humans' mental evolution, while gaining insight into how Earthlings managed to use deceit to their advantage. _Leave it to Sheldon to decide SARCASM is an alien power worth study._ As she stared at him blankly, he'd continued his story, explaining how a single touch could have a sexual connotation. Her vague amusement had quickly devolved into irritation.

"Oh my God, Sheldon, you don't have to make up crazy stories to keep me from pushing you into a sexual relationship! I'm not going to tie you to your bed. I know you aren't ready for anything like that. I know you might never be. We'll take this one day at a time and see where it goes. If it comes to a point that we realize it won't work, we will cross that bridge when we get to it. Don't burn the bridge before we can even see the damn thing!" She'd punctuated her final shout with a stamp of her foot.

"Penny, I assure you that I am in no way attempting any subterfuge. As a matter of fact, if you will sign these documents I have been given permission to prove to y-"

Penny had ripped the papers from him and tossed them on his bed. "I'm not signing your 'Penny promises not to rape Sheldon' contract! You'll just have to trust me on this, Sheldon, I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. If you feel like I'm pushing you, just tell me!"

Sheldon calmly gathered the papers up and again attempted to present them to her. "Penny, these documents are unrelated to the matter you are-"

Penny had thrown her hands up, exasperated. She stepped toward him, her voice testy. "Is it okay if I kiss you on the cheek?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Of course, Penny. As I was trying to say-"

Penny kissed his cheek with a huff, halting his words. "See? Self control and respect of boundaries. I can offer you that. No contracts."

She'd left Sheldon protesting in his room, annoyed with him, but that was nothing new in her relationship with Sheldon. Leonard had been on the couch, smiling with his arms across his chest, chin tilted slightly upwards as he watched her. She'd blown right by him without a word, already knowing how he felt about the whole situation.

She sighed, again thinking back on their friends' reactions. Things had gotten back to normal with Howard and Raj pretty quickly. Leonard, however, was proving to be quite the irritation. He consistently sniped at their relationship and relished in every moment the couple spent at odds with each other. They may be in love, but Penny was still the picture of chaos and Sheldon would forever be the anal-retentive Whack-A-Doodle she had fallen in love with. Of course some bickering was to be expected. Leonard acting as though every little argument, no matter how playful, was just a prelude to the end was really getting on her last nerve.

She noticed her hands trembling in anger and felt the tears on her cheeks. _Ugh! I really am an emotional wreck lately though._ She sighed. Her hormones seemed to be way off since that first day with Sheldon. She hadn't had sex for months before they had gotten together (not that anything had changed in that department once they had kissed), but she had eventually taken a pregnancy test after missing two periods. She got the crazy idea in her head that maybe she had somehow taken advantage of Sheldon when she was blacked out. The idea that he might only be dating her because of something like that had sent her into a downward spiral. She'd only relaxed after multiple tests showed a negative result. She still felt as though something about her was changing.

 _Well, I guess I_ _'_ _ll just have to go see the OBGYN. Man, and my insurance sucks!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Sheldon shuffled through his mail, searching for a communique from his Meemaw, hopefully an indication that he could proceed to further inform Penny of his situation without requiring a contract from her. It was beyond him why his superiors still insisted he use contracts anyhow. As if these Earth humans had the same compunction to be held bound by contractual obligations. That was apparently not a universal convention among the hundreds of human subspecies.

Sheldon's shoulders slumped. He mentally cursed the limitations of communication from his current location. The agent living as Mary Cooper at least had access to a proper communication device, but apparently no word on a decision had reached her either. He mostly had to rely on coded messages sent from his handler, his Meemaw. Sheldon glumly started to make his way up the stairs when his phone started to ring. Pausing in the stairwell, he glanced at the caller ID and nearly vibrated with anticipation.

"Hello, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

"Shelly, dear, that is no way to answer the phone to yer mother. How's aboucha try that again?"

Sheldon winced and cleared his throat. She'd enjoyed tormenting him since he received the assignment. "Of course, Mommy. It's… delightful to hear from you, how are you?" His face twitched.

"Much better, Shelly dear. Well, honey, Meemaw was just dyin for me to tell ya that ya got a green light. Now go on and talk at that little lady uh yers. I know ya j-"

Sheldon sighed in relief and interrupted. "Thank you, Mommy! I love you, bye!" Hanging up, he turned and bounded to the fourth floor.

 _Knock, knock, knock._ "Penny."

 _Knock, knock, knock._ "Penny."

 _Knock, knock, knock._ "Penny."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Penny swung the door open to find Sheldon with a slight smirk on his face. She tried to memorize his look in case she never saw it again and cocked her head to invite him in, not trusting her voice lest it betray her emotional state. She stepped aside, shutting the door behind him after he entered.

"Penny, as you have refused to sign any contracts I have set forward or to take my explanation at face value, you left me in the awkward situation of being unable to provide you with the support that I suspect you may need. However, my superiors have given me leave to demonstrate certain aspects of our neural physiology so that we can move forward in this matter."

Penny stared at him, trying to figure out why he was back onto that alien story again. Then she sighed. Of course she knew why. Now she knew.

"Sheldon, stop there. I know what this is about."

"Penny, Penny, Penny. I find it inconceivable that you could infer the truth of the matter from the little I was able to-"

"SHELDON!"

Sheldon blinked and sat suddenly on the couch.

"Thank you." Exasperated, she sat next to him and reached for his hand. As soon as her fingers grazed his, however, she jerked them back. "I know what happened that day I blacked out." She watched as Sheldon's eyes widened. "I know that I… took advantage of you. I don't know how I managed it without remembering what happened, but I know it sure didn't happen the other way around. I made you push through boundaries you weren't ready for and now you're coming up with crazy stories to keep it from happening again." Penny burst into tears. "I don't know why I let this happen. I didn't want to push you into anything. I never wanted that! Sheldon, I'm so sorry."

Sheldon was flabbergasted. Where could she possibly get the idea that such a thing had happened? "Penny, no such thing happened. That day, you collapsed and I simply-"

"Sheldon, don't try to cover it up anymore. I know it's true. I haven't had sex in months, Sheldon! At least half a year! We certainly haven't had sex since that first day, whether I remember it or not. It's the only explanation."

Sheldon leveled a measured gaze on Penny. "Explanation for what exactly? Just what could possibly be explained away by imaginary coitus, hm?"

"Sheldon… I'm… I'm pregnant."

 _Pregnant?! That_ _'_ _s most certainly not how babies are made, you silly woman._ He released his breathy laugh and patted Penny on the hand, but suddenly his eyes widened.

"Subspecies variations! Oh dear Lord!"

Penny watched as Sheldon fainted bonelessly against her couch.

"Well. That seems about right."

She stood up to put the kettle on for tea. He'd probably want chamomile.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sheldon came to with a start.

"Tea?"

He gripped the mug tightly and took a grateful gulp. "Oh Penny, thank you. I'm sorry. I must have dozed off, quite unlike me. I had the strangest dream." He drained the rest of his mug quickly. "Anyhow, we have some things to discuss. In addition I would like to make a sort of demonstration, if you will. Now, to get right-" Sheldon's words trailed off as he saw the paper Penny was holding out to him. An ultrasound.

"Sheldon, sweetie, that wasn't a dream."

Sheldon tried to stay focused on the ultrasound he was look at, but the thing refused to hold still. Penny reached out and stilled his trembling hands. _Oh. That_ _'_ _s why._ He looked up to see the apprehension in her eyes. _Oh no, she thinks I_ _'_ _m discontent with the situation. She thinks this is her fault._

Sheldon leaned forward and kissed Penny deeply. "Penny, this isn't your fault. It's definitely more my fault than yours. You have to listen to me now. First, we did not engage in coitus. If we had, you certainly wouldn't have been dragging me kicking and screaming into it." They both blushed at the admittance. "Second, I was not lying to you with my "alien ramblings" as you so eloquently put it." He gave Penny a sharp look when she opened her mouth to speak. She closed her mouth again with a sigh, resigned to hear him out at least. "Penny, I will skip straight to the demonstration as my explanations have proved fruitless. Now, do not… 'freak out'."

Penny rolled her eyes and leaned back against the couch cushions. This demonstration should at least be entertaining after the all the hype. Sheldon eyed her apprehensively and then pointed to a candle nearby. Penny watched it levitate a foot into the air, her eyes going wide and her gaze shifting to Sheldon. He seemed to study her to be sure she wasn't going to to collapse in shock before pointing to an empty vase. She watched as it lifted as well. She stood to her feet and watched as he pointed to various areas of the room, items lifting noiselessly all around her. She spun slowly in a circle and then fixed her gaze on Sheldon, her eyes narrowing.

"You let Howard into my apartment to set up some magic prank, Sheldon?! I swear if he was in my underwear drawer, I'll go Nebraska on BOTH your asses!" She stopped as Sheldon's eyebrow lifted and he gestured to the vase. She watched as it floated toward her. She ran her hands all around it before plucking it out of the air. "Proves nothing. You could be using 'electronica magnetecism forces' for all I know."

Sheldon's brow furrowed and the objects started finding their places around the room. He took the face from her and tossed it behind him. She watched in fascination as it floated back to its spot. "Electromagnetism, Penny."

"I know, I know, sometimes it's just hard to resist riling you up," she grumbled, not seeing the amused smirk that graced his face. Her eyes misted. He had gone to so much trouble to maintain the illusion that nothing had happened that day. He was so determined that she not feel guilt for actions she may not have had any control over. "Oh Sheldon, this is sweet of you, really. I know you're trying to help me, but-"

Sheldon huffed. He grabbed her wrist and tilted his head at her with a pointed stare.

 _tting through? Penny?_

Penny jumped. His lips weren't moving. She put her free hand to one ear in the realization that she wasn't technically hearing Sheldon at all.

 _Of course you_ _'_ _re not hearing me, Penny. We are conversing through the manipulation of neural impulses._

Penny's eyes widened. It was almost as if he were in her head. This was crazy.

 _It_ _'_ _s not crazy, Penny. I informed you already that I am a subspecies of humanity. There are hundreds of such subspecies spread throughout the galaxy to ensure the species_ _'_ _survival. Some cultures are aware of their ancestry. Yours is not. Mine is. We have developed along lines of mental acuity and the transference of neural waves into physical forces._

"Am I having an alien baby then?"

 _Penny, I_ _'_ _m not an alien. Well, technically, I suppose I am indeed an alien by your cultural definition as I am from a different planet. However, a comparison of genetic material would leave your scientists hard-pressed to pinpoint where any measurable differences might be found._

Penny pulled Sheldon down to the couch and stared blankly in front of her.

"Penny, I can't hear you anymore."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. My mind just… turned off."

"Penny, you didn't force yourself on me. My people have the ability to perform a genetic transference with another willing individual. A simple touch will start a process within the endocrine system that will mold them into yet more suitable mates and ready them for the eventuality of forming a family unit, which is accomplished through… traditional human means. That at least seems to be a universally retained biological consistency. The members of this union retain their individuality, but end up much more compatible. The fact that we can communicate telepathically indicates that such is already happening in our case. In past experiences with varied subspecies, this has proven to have strange consequences. In some, anyone touched, regardless of affection levels involved, would become hopelessly obsessed with their "partner". In a very unfortunate case, an unintentional transference was deemed an attempt at mind control and an act of war. We had to abandon further contact with that world and the exchange of scientific knowledge was sorely missed. Back to our situation, I was avoiding you then because I had no way of knowing how your subspecies would react to this transfer of genetic material. Somehow, your body incorporated the genetic material that my body provided you, inexplicably impregnating you."

Penny let the new information settle over her. Sheldon really was an alien. She was carrying some kind of hybrid-human-baby. Her body could possibly be undergoing changes to make her a better partner for Sheldon. She found this mildly insulting, no matter if Sheldon had any control over the situation or not. Then she had a dawning realization.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper! Do you mean to tell me that I am carrying your hybrid-alien-child and we didn't even get to have sex first?!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Epilogue

Penny's Journal

 _Star Date blah blah blah. Oh geez, my boys are getting to me. Well this is my first entry into my new_ _"_ _mommy journal_ _"_ _as it were. Lee Nimoy Cooper should be showing his face here any time now. The adventure of pregnancy has been something else. Long distances traveled to be ensured by_ _"_ _the most reputable scientists in the galaxy_ _"_ _that the pregnancy would not be posing any hazards to my health. Strange ceremonies to be officially_ _"_ _pair-bonded_ _"_ _and a small, low-key wedding right here in Pasadena just to have the legalities taken care of. And a honeymoon with a view of the rings of Saturn, not that we left the bedroom often enough to really see much scenery! I even got to visit Meemaw, which I must say is the farthest I have ever traveled._ _"_ _She_ _"_ _was quite a hoot, though not at all what I expected. He was younger than Sheldon!_

 _N-E-WHO._

 _Poor Sheldon, he_ _'_ _s stuck here with us earthlings for now. He argued for a half/half split of our time between_ _…_ _homelands. I was fine with it, but his_ _"_ _superiors_ _"_ _were anything but. Something about dangerous powers of deception, unfathomable mastery of sarcasm and a hybrid child that could take over the planet. Nonsensical blather. Sheldon mumbled something about Lee becoming a_ _"_ _benevolent overlord_ _"_ _before giving up. I have a feeling he_ _'_ _ll be trying again at some point._

 _It turns out that Sheldon_ _'_ _s a lovable weirdo even with his_ _"_ _own kind_ _"_ _. Though, come to think of it, I_ _'_ _m not sure anyone else would agree with the lovable statement if I assume that eye rolling and face palming mean the same thing to them. I started to think he was just a normal guy if you got him back into his own cultural mores. WRONG. Granted, his intelligence isn_ _'_ _t quite as impressive to his own people as it is to us here, but he_ _'_ _s still definitely a standout in that department. And while his inability to lie seems to be normal for his people, his distaste for emotion, his aloofness and condescension was anything but. So he_ _'_ _s still my Whack-A-Doodle, not much normal about the man. Sometimes I wonder just how much Lee will inherit._

 _We had to move out of the apartment. Sheldon is worried that Lee will have the same issues he had as a baby, abilities of the mind developing early that he is too young to control. We need some distance just in case there_ _'_ _s anything to hide. Ah, what the Kents must have gone through. UGH. Why do I know this stuff? Anyhow, Leonard finally stopped his sulking and started being a friend again. He wanted to keep the apartment so it all worked out. He_ _'_ _s moved Leslie Winkle in, horror of horrors! Howard is dating my friend Bernadette now. I met her at the Cheesecake Factory before I quit. Oh yeah, I quit! Hard to waitress when pregnant. Plus now I film dramas for Sheldon_ _'s…_ _people. And no one says I_ _'_ _m too midwestern! Screw you, Hollywood! Totes famous, bitches! Oh and Raj met a sweet girl named Amy and is currently dragging her out of her shell. They aren_ _'_ _t dating yet - the poor girl has some crazy views on romanticism, but I have a feeling they_ _'_ _ll get there. Sometimes the way she looks at me gives me the shivers. Raj needs to tame the beast within and quick, if you know what I mean._

 _Speaking of the beast within, that whole_ _"_ _molding us into kickass mates or whatever_ _"_ _thing_ _…_ _yeah, that made some changes in Sheldon and let_ _'_ _s just say his libido is more than adequate. Well, he says it was the genetic transference, but I kinda think the guy was just a tiger hiding in a kitten_ _'_ _s body for so long that he just had to shed the skin. Go get em tiger. AGAIN WITH THE COMIC REFERENCES. Damn whack-a-doodle husband of mine. Whatevs._

 _Well crap._

 _Water broke._

 _Time to go welcome little Lee to the planet._


End file.
